Two Toddlers and a Dog
by Mystic Dragon
Summary: Roy gets more than he ever imagined when the unexpected happens...Edward and Alphonse Elric are reduced to toddlers! Can he manage the Elrics in terrible two mode, or will he finally ask for some help? RoyRiza
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist.

* * *

Two Toddlers and a Dog

Chapter 1

Colonel Roy Mustang felt his eye twitch as he stared at the muscular Lieutenant Armstrong in front of him.

Or more precisely, what was by his feet.

"You've got to be kidding," Roy stated flatly.

Armstrong shook his head, "No, sir. This was what they found at the site. Something must have gone wrong, and converted the two into…well…Alphonse-kun is two years old, and I believe that Edward-kun is either the same or three years old."

Roy wondered what he had done to deserve this as he looked at the two preschoolers.

Alphonse was clinging to Armstrong's leg with a thumb in his mouth, and Edward was pouting on the other side.

"What do we do?" Armstrong asked.

Roy sighed. Asking their friend in Rizenbool to take care of them wouldn't work since the project the two had been assigned to was a military one. "I suppose…we find someone in the military that can look after them…"

"But who?" Armstrong asked, then smiled, "I can look after them…!!" he flexed his muscles.

Edward ran away from him in fear and gripped onto Roy's leg instead.

Alphonse started to cry, and ran after his brother, gripping onto Roy's other leg.

Roy's eyebrow twitched again, and he wondered if this was payback for all the times he had insulted Edward.

"Looks like they've taken a liking to you, Colonel," Riza stated from her desk as if it was a daily occurrence for a 16 year old alchemist and his younger brother (who had been a suit of armor just a day ago) to be transformed into two toddlers.

Roy knew that tone of voice, and resigned to his fate, "I guess I'll be looking after them, then…" He looked down at the two toddlers.

Alphonse had stuck his thumb in his mouth.

Edward was looking back up at him. "Whewe's mommy?"

Roy sighed. This was going to be a very long…… "How long will it take to undo this?"

"We have no idea…until we figure out what happened," Armstrong shook his head.

Roy sighed. _I'm dead._

* * *

Roy was almost glad to be home…at least he didn't have to listen to the whispering staff about the two boys. Edward and Alphonse had quickly adjusted, figuring that they were in the care of a babysitter, and basically made a mess of everything. Papers all over the place, drawings on the walls, and a food fight to top it off.

On the plus side, Alphonse had fallen asleep. On the minus side, Edward didn't.

And on another minus side, both boys needed diapers, Roy found out quickly. Though, Edward seemed to have been in potty training because he kept saying he didn't need it, and would occasionally have accidents.

So, they had to do some shopping. Which had been a nightmare. Alphonse and Edward had run up and down the isles, and involved any other child their age in a giant game of store-wide hide-and-seek.

So now, he was glad to be home. He put the sleeping Alphonse on the couch and instructed Edward to sit by his brother and wait while he got one of the guest rooms ready for them.

Edward wasn't one to wait, apparently, and had found some pens and decided that the blank, white walls made a good canvas.

Roy returned and nearly freaked out to what he saw.

Edward looked back, grinning as he pointed to his work, "Lookie, Woi!"

Roy lost all his self control, "What the hell is that?! You are _not_ allowed to draw on the walls!!" and for good measure, he gave the by a slap across the face. There would be discipline if he had to take care of the Elric brothers in terrible-two mode!

Edward looked stunned more than hurt as he stared up at Roy as if he had never seen him before in his life…or like he was some sort of monster or alien.

Alphonse stirred, but didn't wake.

Roy sighed, "I'm going to get a sponge and water…and you're going to clean up this mess…" he trailed off when he saw Edward's eyes water.

Tears started to run down Edward's face, and he stared at Roy, "You hit me. Mommy nevew hits me…" more tears ran down his cheeks, and he ran blindly down one of the hallways.

Roy stared for a moment, then muttered a curse and, after checking to make sure Alphonse was really asleep, went in search of the boy.

* * *

He found him curled up in the corner of a dark room where the moonlight was pouring down from the three windows in the room. The only room with more than one window.

Edward was shivering, curled into a little ball as he sniffled occasionally.

"Edward…"

The little boy looked up and hiccupped, wiping his eyes again, "M'not cwying…"

Roy nearly smirked, seeing some of the Edward he knew in this toddler for a moment before it vanished. He sighed and knelt down, placing a gentle hand on Edward's left cheek…the place he had hit. "I'm sorry…I shouldn't have hit you."

Edward sniffled and looked away, "Whewe's mommy?"

"She……had to go on a trip," Roy stated.

Edward looked at him suspiciously for a moment, then nodded slowly.

Roy scooped the boy up and walked out of the room, "I think it's time for you and your brother to go to sleep."

"M'not tiwed," Edward yawned as he rested his head on Roy's shoulder.

Roy made a mental note that children, even volatile ones like Edward Elric, forgave very quickly.

* * *

"Woi? Woi! WOI!!"

Roy cracked his eyes open, and wondered why it was so dark. Then, he remembered.

It was night.

He was trying to sleep.

He had already been woken up once because Alphonse was afraid of the dark, then again because Alphonse finally realized that his mother wasn't there. And he finally got the boy to fall asleep…and now…

Roy squinted at the clock.

…not even an hour later, he was being woken up again.

"What?" Roy sat up, frowning as he saw Edward again. It had been Edward that had woken him up to tell him about his brother's needs…seemed that, even at that age, Edward still played overprotective big brother.

Edward suddenly blushed and shifted, then mumbled something.

"What?" Roy frowned.

"Wetthebed."

Roy blinked, trying to make sense of the rushed sentence, "Repeat that?"

"Wet the bed," Edward blushed deeper, fiddling with his hands.

"Oh, for the love of…" Roy groaned.

Edward sniffled and looked at the ground.

Roy had no clue how to handle this situation. He sighed and turned on the light, then consulted the giant encyclopedia on toddlers that Hawkeye had given him for the 'job', flipping through pages and ignoring Edward's sniffles now and then.

"Awe you angwy?" Edward asked in a small voice.

Roy looked up and saw a tear roll down Edward's cheek. He sighed and shook his head, finding the right page and reading it. Putting it down, he stood up, "No. I'm not angry at you."

Edward sniffled and wiped his eyes again.

"Come along…let's get you, and the bed, cleaned up," Roy responded, standing up and reaching his hand out.

Edward sniffled again and took the man's hand with a hiccup, wiping his eyes with his free arm once more. He was silent (except for a sniffle here and there) the entire time as Roy had him wait in the bathroom while he fished out a new pair of pajamas for the boy. He was mildly surprised to see that Edward hadn't moved from where he'd left him, and placed the new pair of pajamas down on the closed hamper.

"Come on," Roy indicated, turning the water on and getting it to a warm temperature, then helped Edward peel off the now damp pajamas and get into the tub.

"Woi?" Edward questioned as he was washed off.

"Hm?" Roy cursed every part of karma for landing him with this job.

"…mommy's dead."

Roy slipped since he had one hand leaning on the edge of the tub, and nearly plunged face first into the water. He blinked, "What?"

"It was the dweam," Edward frowned, "I dun 'membew much…but I 'membew mommy died, and we was sad. And we did some'n to twy and bwing her back, but couldn't…and I usedta do this…" He clapped his hands together once, and looked up at Roy, "…and make stuff happen cause thewe was a big gate."

Roy was quiet for a while as he got the boy clean, then out of the tub and dry before changing him into a different diaper and the new pair of pajamas. "What happened?"

Edward shrugged, "I dun 'membew. Alls I know is mommy's gone, and the stuffs I told you afowe." He sniffled again, tears rolling down his cheeks as he wiped at his eyes to no avail.

Roy softened and placed a hand on the boy's shoulder, "We'll figure something out. Don't worry."

Edward looked up at him, watery amber eyes shining. He sniffled and wrapped his small arms around Roy's waist, then buried his head in the man's middle, shoulders shaking.

Roy resisted a sigh as he carefully returned the hug gently. He then picked the boy up and carried him back to the room, and placed him in bed with Alphonse since Edward's sheets still needed to be cleaned.

"Woi?" Edward questioned, a waiver in his voice.

Roy offered him a smile, "It's okay. Don't worry."

Edward nodded, and wiped his eyes, then snuggled in with his little brother.

Roy shook his head as he walked out of the room. _The thing they were working on when this happened……could it be that Edward found what he was looking for and was trying to bring his brother back? Is this a rebound, or something that was taken from them?_ He yawned, and decided that some things were best to be left to the morning…when his brain was actually awake. And after some coffee.

With that, he got back into bed and barely had the covers back around himself before falling asleep.

**TO BE CONTINUED…**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Roy expected Edward to bounce right back the next day. Well, he did, in one sense. He was a lot more cranky.  
Alphonse giggled as his brother threw a fit that ended up with cereal on the ground.

Roy had estimated that Alphonse was in his early two's, and Edward was in his late two's and going on three soon. This due to the fact that Alphonse couldn't talk yet, and Edward's speech wasn't the best.

"No!" Edward whined as he turned over his glass of milk. "No, no, NO!!"

Roy had a headache already, and was at his limit, "Fine! If you want to stay a little bean for the rest of your life, don't drink your milk!"

"FINE!" Edward shouted back.

Roy put his face in his hand, his eye twitching.

Alphonse laughed and clapped again, then picked up his own spoon and flung the food he had been eating into the wall.

Edward giggled, his tantrum forgotten for a moment.

Alphonse laughed again and threw another spoonful. This one hit Roy right in the face when the man turned around to see why the angry whining had turned to giggles and laughs.

Edward slapped a hand over his mouth, but laughed again.

Alphonse squealed and clapped his hands.

"No throwing food!" Roy snapped, then eyed the youngest, "Alphonse, don't you _dare_!"

Alphonse was grinning, both hands on his food dish as he was tipping it over the edge of the small table part of his high chair. The grin vanished at the stern tone, and he sulked, putting the food dish down.

Roy sighed. _What a way to start the morning…_

* * *

"Good morning!" Came the chorus of officers in the room when Roy walked in.

"Tell me what's so 'good' about it. You have three seconds. No? Time's up," Roy gritted as he just about stormed through the door, Edward being carried under one arm while Alphonse was carried in the other, normally.

Edward was wailing and babbling incoherently, kicking his small legs while he waved his arms.

Alphonse just stared at his brother as the boy threw a temper tantrum.

"Um…should we ask?" Fuery whispered to Havoc.

"Probably not, but, hell, since when have we listened to common sense?" Havoc grinned, then held up a hand, "Yo! What's with the screaming chibi?"

Roy turned a glare on him that said 'you have two seconds to run before I barbeque you alive'.

Havoc cowered in his chair with a gulp.

"What's with the noise?" Riza walked in, a stack of papers in her hand.

"If you haven't located the source yet," Roy's eye twitched as he all but dropped Edward onto the ground, "…no comment." He placed the calmer Alphonse down on the floor near his desk as he all but collapsed onto the chair. "Someone go get a playpen or something…"

"Yes, sir!"

Before anyone knew, it, only Roy and Riza remained in the room with the two toddlers.

"…I didn't mean for _everyone_ to go…" Roy muttered, then reached in his desk for a bottle of aspirin.

Alphonse continued to watch his brother throw a fit on the ground.

Riza knelt down next to Edward, "What's the problem?" She was speaking to Roy, however.

"He was in a 'mood' ever since he woke up. Do you want the details of what he and his brother did to my kitchen?" Roy massaged his temples.

Edward's face was red from screaming.

Riza glanced at the boy, then drew in a breath and spoke sharply, "EDWARD ELRIC!!"

Roy and Alphonse jumped.

Edward blinked and stopped his temper tantrum, hiccupping a bit as a couple stray tears ran down his face while he sat up.

"I can hear again…" Roy marveled.

Riza rolled her eyes, then turned to Edward, her tone softening, "There…I think that's quite enough, don't you?"

Edward wiped his eyes and sniffled.

Riza glanced at Roy, "Honestly…you have _no_ clue how to handle children."

"I just about grew up in the military. And I'm _male_. I don't have that maternal instinct…"

CLICK.

"…which can be a great asset and in which males are at a disadvantage due to the fact that we're lacking it," Roy hurriedly came up with an end of the sentence that wouldn't result in him being shot by Riza's gun.

Alphonse giggled, a thumb in his mouth.

Edward was grinning. "Woi's in twouble!"

Alphonse giggled again at his brother's statement.

"And he'll be in even more trouble if he doesn't finish his paper work," Riza stated sweetly to Edward, though there was a hint of a threat in it directed towards Roy.

Roy groaned and accepted the papers Riza had been holding. _Why me…?_ "You can't seriously expect me to watch over these two brats while I do work…?"

"Saying you actually _do_ your work instead of procrastinating…yes. The men are out getting a playpen, so the Elric brothers won't wander off," Riza responded.

"Who awe you?" Edward tugged on Riza's pant leg, temper tantrum completely forgotten.

"Riza Hawkeye," the woman smiled.

Edward nodded, "I'm Edo! And that's Awu! He's my lil bwothew!"

Alphonse, aware of the attention being turned to him, smiled and let out a cheerful chirp, then held his hands up.

Riza smiled and picked the boy up, "Very cute." _I can see why Edward was working so hard before this happened to restore his brother. Alphonse had one of the brightest smiles I've seen. Full of innocence. _

"I'm going to get some coffee for us," Riza stated, "I'll take Alphonse with me, so watch over Edward."

Roy nodded.

Riza rolled her eyes and left.

Edward stared for a moment, then ran as fast as he could to where Roy was and tugged at the man's pants, pointing to the door, "Woi, Woi! Wiza just stole Awu!!"

Roy blinked, then laughed.

"Not funny! We gotta go save Awu!" Edward whined.

"She just took him out of the room for a moment," Roy assured the small boy, wondering for a second if the brief maturity Edward displayed the other night was a fluke, "They'll be back soon. Now…let go. I'm trying to work." He pulled out some blank sheets of paper and a couple markers, and handed them to the boy. "Play with that."

Edward pouted and sat down with them, staring blankly. Then, he stood up.

Roy was now reading a book.

Edward sulked and walked around the office, looking around. _It's been too long…Awu still isn't back!_ He looked at the door to the office, and then went over to it. _Wiza tuwned this knobby thing…_he reached up, but found himself too short. He was looking around for something to stand on, when he noticed that the door was open a crack. Pulling it back a bit, he smiled when he saw a long hallway. _I'm coming, Awu!_ With that, he ran off down the hall, in a direction he hoped was right.

* * *

Riza pushed the door open, and sighed, "Put the book away and do the paperwork now."

Roy jumped and quickly stuffed the book he had been reading under the desk, then sighed when he realized that he had been caught, and placed it down, pulling out the papers.

Riza put one mug on Roy's desk, and the other on hers, still balancing Alphonse.

Alphonse looked around and whimpered.

"What's wrong?" Riza asked the boy. He had been happy-go-lucky when he was out with her…if not a bit shy when he saw other people from the military.

Alphonse pointed to the floor and made a babbling noise.

Riza blinked and looked down, "I don't see anything…" Then, it clicked. _Yes…I don't see anything. I should see something…_ "Taisa…"

Roy stiffened. That was the 'I am pissed and you are dead' tone of voice.

"…where's Edward?"

"I gave him some markers and paper…"

"Which are on the floor, yes, I see that. I asked where _Edward_ is…not where the papers and markers are," Riza's voice was dripping with ice, warmed only with worry of what could have happened to the boy.

Roy blinked and looked over his desk, "Maybe he's playing hide-and-seek in the room?"

Riza raised an eyebrow.

Roy sighed and got up, then looked under every desk, while Riza juggled Alphonse as she looked through every cabinet and drawer where Edward could possibly fit.

Riza then remembered that the door was open when she had returned. "Taisa…"

Roy gulped.

* * *

Havoc, Fuery, Farman, and Breda returned to the room with a few toys for the toddlers as well as a playpen that had to be assembled (it was still in the box for easier transport), only to find Riza and Roy _arguing_ with a crying Alphonse in Riza's arms.

"How could you _not_ notice that he left the room!?" Riza was shouting.

"At that time, I was working!"

"You were probably reading! This building is _huge_! He can be _anywhere_!!"

"I'm not the one that left the door open!"

"But you were the one that's supposed to be caring for him and watching him!!"

"I told you, I was…!"

The four officers looked from one to the other, then quietly started to set the things on the ground and tiptoe back out of the office.

"Hold it!" Riza's sharp order was directed at them.

The four froze, and Alphonse stopped crying.

"Edward wandered out of the room," Riza explained to them, her voice still hard as ice as she spoke, "We must now split up and find him before anything happens. Understood?!"

"YES, MA'AM!!" the four men stood at attention, sweat running down their nervous faces.

Riza glared at Roy, "You, too. If you have to work overtime to finish that paper work, then it's your own fault!"

Roy held back a groan, and looked at the men who were staring at him, "Well? What are you waiting for? Split up and find him!!"

The four men, plus Roy, ran out of the room.

Riza followed a little slower since she was still holding Alphonse, who had tears in his eyes as he pointed back at the floor. "Don't worry. We'll find Edward."

The little boy sniffled and nodded.

* * *

Edward, meanwhile, was backed against a wall, trembling slightly, as he looked up at the three large soldiers that had gone to asking him questions to trying to grab him. It had been going on for about a minute or two. He was cornered after two minutes of running blindly through the halls to try to find his brother.

"He looks familiar…doesn't he?" one of the soldiers, a bald man, reached forward as if to grab the boy.

Edward plastered himself against the wall even more with a whimper.

"He _does_ look like Fullmetal…except even smaller than him!" the second soldier, who had short black spiky hair, grinned.

"Yea! I mean, how many shrimps do we know of with golden eyes? Hey, maybe he's Fullmetal's kid!" the third one, a guy with wavy brown hair, stated.

"What's your name, little boy?" spiky-hair asked.

Edward pressed his lips together in a silent way of saying 'not telling'.

"If it's Fullmetal's kid, I bet he's a brat. I mean, our department was ridiculed! A child who passed the National Alchemist test…and made such a fuss all the time!" wavy-hair clenched his hand around a silver watch.

"He gets more money than us, too," bald-guy stated.

"Hey, I have an idea!" wavy-hair smirked, "How about we snag this little brat, and demand a ransom of Fullmetal! As long as we don't give any locations, he won't hurt us!"

"Great idea!" spiky-hair grinned, staring down at Edward.

Bald-guy frowned, rubbing his chin, then nodded, "I know of a place." He reached out for Edward again.

Edward dodged the hand. _Who's 'Fullmetal'? Why do they think I'm his son? Is that a nickname of tousan? But tousan left! I gotta get away! These guys awe nuts!_

"Brat…" wavy-hair grabbed onto Edward's arm.

"Lemme go, lemme go!" Edward struggled.

"Hey, keep the kid quiet, or someone will hear us!" spiky-hair stated.

"No problem…" wavy-hair started.

Edward gave a shout and kicked wavy-hair in the shin…hard.

Wavy-hair yelped and let go of Edward to clutch his leg.

Edward instantly slid under him to the other side, and took off down the hall as fast as his stubby legs could carry him.

"Don't look at me, you idiots! Get that little brat!!" Wavy-hair pointed.

Edward yelped as the chase continued, though they were quickly gaining since their legs were longer. Edward saw a door on his left and burst through it, skidding, and yelped as he tumbled down a set of stairs.

Tears ran down his face as his body ached. He heard the voices of the three men from the entrance of the stairwell, and pushed himself to his feet, limping through the exit door and stumbling into a hallway. He looked around frantically, and saw an open door that had some sign on it he couldn't read. He ran inside of it and looked around. It was dark and scary…and there were things that looked like what his mom used to use to clean the house in there.

Upon hearing the voices coming, he pulled at the door to close it, then fell onto the ground, tears running down his face. He looked around the dark room, but could barely see anything except outlines. He recognized a rope, and made a loop in it, then tossed it up to the doorknob.

Miss.

The voices were coming down the stairs.

Panicking, Edward tossed it up again.

Miss.

The voices were at the bottom of the stairs.

Edward whimpered and tossed the rope up again. This time, it caught on the doorknob. Edward pulled with all his strength, putting his body into it, and yelped as the door swung shut and he fell to the ground, closing him in darkness.

Shivering, he lay there for a moment, breathing hard and eyes opened wildly as he heard the voices of the three men from outside the door.

"He couldn't have gone too far!"

"Think he's in here?"

Edward held his breath.

"Idiot! That's the Janitor's closet! It's closed! We need a key to open it! How can a little brat get through a locked door? Even if he _is_ Fullmetal's kid, there would still be remnants of alchemy! Keep on going…he has to be around here, somewhere!"

Edward let out his breath as the voices got farther and farther away, then vanished.

Suddenly, he felt alone and scared. It was dark in the room…he could barely see anything, now. Stumbling to his feet, he went over to the door and tried to push it open since the men weren't there anymore.

The door didn't even budge.

Scared, Edward pushed on the door again and again, then even threw himself at it.

But still, the door didn't move.

"Let me out!" Edward shouted, banging on the door, "Let me out!!"

Nothing but a slight echo greeted him.

Edward sat on the ground and pulled his knees to his chest, then started to cry quietly. "I want mommy…I want mommy…"

* * *

Havoc, Fuery, Farman, and Breda skidded to a halt in front of Roy as they met up around the man's office on the first floor, with Riza joining them a moment later.

"I take it none of you found him?" Riza asked, worry overshadowing the sternness she meant for that to come out as.

The four lower soldiers shook their heads sadly.

"Well, search the second floor," Roy indicated, "If he's not on this floor, he must have gone down the stairs!"

"But he's a toddler! How could he…?" Breda blinked.

"Do it!" Roy pointed.

"YES, SIR!" the four snapped to attention, then scurried off.

"Damn it…" Roy hissed as he ran towards a different stairwell, Riza in tow.

Riza looked at the man as she followed him. _He really __**is**__ worried…_

Alphonse gave a sob in her arms, and she rubbed his back, holding him close as she went as fast as she could down the stairs after Roy.

Roy was frowning. _It's been almost fifteen minutes since we started to search. I hope nothing happened to the kid…_

* * *

Edward shivered and coughed. It was cold, he was hungry, and he was feeling light-headed for some reason. He stumbled to the door and weakly pounded on it again, trying to get it open. "Help…someone…?" _I dun feel good…_

It was getting harder to breathe for some reason, and it felt like the walls were even closer around him and the darkness stretched out infinitely. He didn't know how long he had been in the dark, scary place…but he wanted out.

Edward coughed a couple times involuntarily, his chest burning. He sunk to his knees, then lay on the ground, coughing as he whimpered.

Then, he heard a noise, like the door to the stairwell opening. He picked his foot up and kicked at the door as hard as he could, feeling that he didn't have the strength to do anything else. There was a familiar voice mumbling something he couldn't catch, which encouraged him to kick the door again. His leg felt like lead, and he let it drop back to the ground as he wheezed, staring blearily at the door.

There were footsteps that came closer, until he could see slight black through the slit under the door of someone's boots.

"…Edward…?"

Edward coughed again and strained until he poked one small finger through the crack of the door as far as he could, then tapped the man's boot. _Woi…help me…_

Roy felt the tap, and looked down. His eyes widened, and he spun around, "Hawkeye! Go get the janitor's keys or someone that can transmute a lock! HURRY!"

Riza was startled at the fierceness of the man's voice, but nodded and ran off as fast as she could.

Roy knelt down and put a hand over the small finger, "Edward? Edward, can you hear me?" _Why isn't he crying? He's trapped in that closet…shouldn't he be crying?_ He took his gloves off and touched Edward's finger again, flinching when he felt how cold it was.

The finger twitched a bit in response.

"Edward, it's okay. We're getting you out of there. It'll be okay," Roy found himself saying, though he didn't know where the assurances were coming from.

"Taisa!" Riza ran over with a chain of keys in one hand.

Roy nodded and then stared at the sheer amount of the keys on the ring, "Which one is the key for the lock!? He's been in there too long! We don't have time to go through all of them!"

Riza frowned, looking at the keys. Truth be told, she had no clue. But she did have an idea. She tossed the keys on the ring onto the ground and all but shoved a sniffling Alphonse into Roy's arms.

Alphonse kept on leaning towards the door, tears running down his face as he babbled something that almost sounded like 'Edo', over and over again, as if he knew his brother was in there and needed help.

"Stand back, sir!" Riza pulled her gun out.

Roy stepped back, somehow getting a grip on the struggling toddler in his arms.

Riza fired three successive shots. Two at the hinges, and one at the knob. "Step back!"

Roy didn't have to be told twice as Riza grabbed the handle and pulled the door right off, letting it drop to the ground with a loud 'bang'.

Edward squinted, the darkness suddenly flooding with light that made him close his eyes. He gulped in air, coughing now and again.

Riza put the gun back and knelt down, "Edward?"

Edward squinted, trying to adjust back to the light as he shivered.

Riza pulled off her military jacket and carefully wrapped it around the boy, then scooped him up in her arms and just held him.

Roy watched, holding a sniffling Alphonse, concern written all over his pale features. He cleared his throat and spoke up softly, "Hawkeye…why isn't he crying? Shouldn't he be crying?"

"We need to get him to a doctor and find out," Riza stood up, a trembling Edward in her arms, "He was probably running low on oxygen in there. That, plus the cold temperature…"

Roy nodded, "I'll go to the meeting spot to tell the men that he was found. Then, I'll come by the hospital."

Riza nodded, and the two took off in different directions as fast as they could, despite Alphonse's wail when he was separated from his brother again.

"We'll go see him soon," Roy told the young boy, "We have to tell the other men to stop looking, first."

Alphonse sniffled. _Edo…_

**TO BE CONTINUED…**


	3. Chapter 3

I know Riza lives in an apartment, but for the sake of the story, she's been upgraded to a two-story house. ^_~

Onward!

* * *

Chapter 3

Roy let out a breath of relief upon hearing that Edward would be fine.

The boy had some scrapes and bruises, and trembled as he latched onto Riza as soon as the doctor finished examining him. He had a slight fever, and even though it was low, the doctor stated that, since he was a young child, it might go up. They had to get him to swallow the medicine since, despite his condition, he threw a fuss when he saw the needle. With Riza there, they managed to get him to eat some chicken-noodle soup, and then they just waited for Roy to come. That was how he found them.

Alphonse reached out, and Roy placed the boy down on the bed where Edward was still clinging to Riza's arm.

Alphonse crawled on the bed and hugged his brother as if sensing that the boy was upset.

Edward sniffled, and then the tears came. He buried his face in Riza's side and sobbed.

Riza placed a hand on his head since Alphonse was hugging the boy from behind.

"Edo," Alphonse whispered, "Edo…"

Edward blinked and sniffled loudly with a hiccup, then looked over at his brother.

Alphonse looked back at him with watery blue-gray eyes, "Edo!"

Edward sniffled again and let go of Riza, then hugged Alphonse with a slight smile gracing his lips.

Roy watched in amazement.

Riza smiled and gently moved both boys into her lap.

Edward looked up at her and smiled a bit. "Wiza…Awu spoke!"

Riza nodded with a smile, "Yes, he did. Good job, Alphonse."

Alphonse smiled and hugged his brother again, "Edo!"

Roy turned when Havoc called his name, then went over.

Havoc saluted, then started in a low voice, "We asked around like you asked, sir. Witnesses say they saw three soldiers cornering and then chasing Edward. We did more digging, and found out the three. One of them was a National Alchemist named Raida Tembre. The other two were normal soldiers…Drew Framby and Arnold Arcidainta. We have the three in the prisons right now, awaiting interrogation."

Roy nodded, "Good work. We'll need Edward to identify them…" he glanced at the boy that was still clinging to Riza, "…write it in for tomorrow."

Havoc saluted in affirmation.

"Dismissed," Roy nodded, "Thank you."

Havoc shook his head, "No problem, taisa. We'll keep an eye on those three."

Roy nodded again.

Havoc saluted, then headed out.

Riza looked up when Roy came over and sat tiredly next to her on the bed, uncharacteristically displaying a sign of weariness and weakness as he put his head in his hand.

"Taisa?" Riza blinked.

Roy didn't respond.

"Mustang-taisa?" Riza questioned once more.

This time, Roy responded to his name, and looked up at her, "Something fishy happened. Right here in the base." He hissed a few colorful words, then took a deep breath and let it out before looking back at her, "How are they doing?"

"They fell asleep," Riza responded, looking tenderly down at the two children in her lap that were cuddled up to each other and her, "It was a long day…for both of them. Edward's disappearance effected Alphonse, too."

"I noticed that. Either it's because of what happened, or they just normally had a strong connection at that age," Roy sighed.

"Because of…what happened…sir?" Riza blinked.

"I'm sure you've figured it out a little bit," Roy responded, looking at the two boys, his eyes softening, "They must have found a way to return Alphonse's body back to normal, and tried it. And this is the result. Last night, Edward came to my room and told me that he remembered that his mother was dead, and knew that he could do alchemy…though he didn't know what it was called. He also mentioned a Gate. I'm not sure I understand that part of it…but from everything I've heard, and from what Hoenheim has mentioned to me before……I believe that there was some sort of reaction that did this to them when he tried to restore Alphonse. It certainly isn't equivalent trade…which makes it a little hard to believe."

"Maybe…it is," Riza said quietly.

Roy blinked.

"Memories start forming and lasting between the ages of three and four," Riza explained to him, "At this age…it's like a new beginning for them. They can start over. Obviously, in the back of their minds, there's still something of what happened. If, in exchange, their memories were taken when they were reduced to this…then, in one sense, it _is_ equivalent trade."

Roy thought about that for a moment, then nodded slowly in agreement. "I'll need to put some serious thought into this." He looked a little hesitant, and then finally managed to speak again, "…I think I'll need help taking care of them, though."

"Are you asking me?"

Roy nodded.

Riza looked away to hide a blush, then looked down at the two toddlers, and smiled warmly, "I'll help. But remember…I still have to look after Black Hayate. And what do we tell the ones waiting for them in Rizenbool?"

"I'll think of something," Roy shrugged, then blinked, "Were you inviting me to your home?"

"I hardly can think of any other way this will work. You recently moved out of the dorms. I can hardly say your home is set up yet. Mine is. And it has room."

Roy nodded, fighting back the heat that surged through his cheeks. "V-very well, then…"

"Get the things you got for them and come by…I'll take them home," Riza carefully balanced the two toddlers, then stood up.

Roy nodded, "At least…well, since you're helping and everything…I'll help you get them to your place. Then I'll get what we need."

Riza nodded, "The two got a diaper change here at the hospital…but I hope you don't forget those."

Roy shook his head, standing up.

The two walked out, purposely not looking at each other due to the strange, swirling thoughts that crossed their minds when they did.

* * *

Alphonse was the first to wake up, and started crying. Somehow, the noise didn't wake Edward, who was sound asleep in the bed next to him.

"He didn't eat," Riza explained to a lost looking Roy, "He's probably hungry. Right, Alphonse?"

Alphonse sniffled and nodded, holding his hands up.

Riza lifted him out of the bed, "I'll get him something to eat…I'm surprised Edward didn't wake up." She shifted Alphonse in her arms and placed a hand to Edward's forehead, "Still warm…" _And he's still flushed…_she turned to look at Roy, "Keep an eye on him while I feed Alphonse."

Roy nodded dumbly and she left the room they had set up for the two boys.

Black Hayate wandered in and wagged his tail a bit.

Roy stared at the dog and sighed, sitting down on a chair in the room, "How the hell did I get involved in this?"

Black Hayate just wagged his tail and seemed to grin at the man, then walked out of the room, nudging the door open more with his muzzle and causing it to creak.

Edward stirred and opened his eyes at the noise, "Awu…?"

"Hawkeye is getting him something to eat," Roy stated.

Edward blinked and rubbed his eyes, then yawned sleepily and shivered. "Woi?"

"Yes?"

"I dun feel good."

That was all the warning Roy had before the boy threw up.

* * *

Riza paused when she heard a scream from the guestroom upstairs.

Alphonse, who was proudly feeding himself, paused and looked up as well. "Edo?"

Riza sighed and ran a hand through her hair, "Actually, that sounded like…" She blushed. _Was I about to call him 'Roy'…? _

A very disgruntled looking Roy showed up just then.

Riza stared at the expression on his face, not placing it.

"Where are the clean sheets and the bathtub?" Roy asked.

Riza sighed, "What happened?"

"Edo?" Alphonse frowned. He _knew_ his brother was upset. Tears pooled in his blue-gray eyes, "Edo!"

"He threw up all over the sheets," Roy ran a hand through his hair, "No warning…"

Riza sighed in exasperation, "So you left him up there by himself to ask where the clean sheets are!? Oh, for the love of…" she shook her head and marched out of the kitchen, "I change my mind…you watch _Alphonse_. _I'll_ watch Edward." She grabbed something that looked like sheets from a nearby linen closet, then marched past Black Hayate and up the stairs.

Roy glanced at Alphonse, who was staring back at him with questioning eyes. Roy then groaned and flopped into a chair, "Your brother is more annoying now than he was when he was older!"

Alphonse didn't understand what those words meant, but it seemed funny, so he giggled, but quickly frowned, "Edo?"

"He'll be fine," Roy sighed, looking at the toddler that could only say one word and the dog that couldn't talk at all. "Know what? I'm lousy at this. I could barely handle a teenager…and now this happens…I'm supposed to be taking care of the kid, but all I do is seem to make it worse."

Alphonse blinked and shook his head.

Black Hayate sat next to the high chair.

"Plus, there's these new feelings around that woman…" Roy leaned back in the chair, staring blankly at the ceiling, "This is a mess."

Alphonse nodded sagely and Black Hayate also seemed to incline his head.

Roy eyed them suspiciously, "If I didn't know better, I'd say you two understand what I'm saying and completely agree."

Alphonse just smiled and Black Hayate just wagged his tail.

* * *

"Okay…there," Riza sighed. She had gotten Edward out of the bed and in the tub, running the water to be cool to take down his fever. The sheets could wait.

Edward sat in the tub, shivering and sniffling.

"It's okay, Edward," Riza said for the fifth time, "What happened wasn't your fault."

"Why did Woi wun off, then?" Edward asked, tears in his eyes.

"Because he's an idiot that doesn't know how to take care of kids," Riza muttered under her breath, then smiled at the confused look on the boy's face, "He didn't know what to do."

"Gwownups like Woi get cunfuused, too?" Edward blinked a couple times.

Riza wiped a stray tear from the boy's face and nodded, "Yes. Even we get confused."

"So…I wasn't bad?" Edward bit his lip.

"No, you weren't bad," Riza shook her head, then gently dipped the washcloth into the water and slowly and carefully sponged him down with the cool water. "You were very brave."

"…I want mommy…but she's not come'n back…" Edward whispered.

Riza softened, and ran a hand through his hair gently, "I know…and I know that…well, it may be different than what you're used to…but I'll try to be a substitute mommy for you."

"And Awu, too?"

Riza found herself smiling, "Yes. And Alphonse, too."

Edward smiled, and the rest of the bath went quietly, with both chatting about nonsense things.

Riza finished, and got Edward out and into a pair of sky blue pajamas that had pictures of cats and dogs on it. "Feeling better now?"

Edward nodded, "Uh-huh. I'm thiwsty, though…"

"Well, let's get you something to drink. Then, I'll change the sheets and you can rest some more," Riza responded.

Edward nodded. Normally, when he was sick, he continued to jump around. But not when his stomach hurt.

"Are you in pain?" Riza noticed him flinch.

"My tummy huwts," Edward responded shyly.

Riza picked him up, "Tell you what…I'll make you some ginger tea. It'll make your tummy feel better." _Why am I talking like I've worked in a pre-school my entire life?_

"What's 'tea'?" Edward asked.

"It's like…warm water, but it has a different taste than water," Riza stated as she carried him down the stairs.

"Oh," Edward rested his head on her shoulder and smiled. _Not mommy, but…just like mommy…_

The scene Riza found was a giggling Alphonse, a tail-wagging Black Hayate, and what looked to be a sulking Roy.

"Woi is pouting," Edward stated.

Roy blinked and looked over, realizing for the first time that they had come down the stairs…he was so caught up in his thoughts he didn't even notice.

"Interesting choice of pajamas you picked out," Riza commented to him.

"I tried to find one with shrimps on it, but they didn't have any…"

Alphonse and Edward laughed when Riza whacked him upside the head.

Roy blinked.

Riza turned red, realizing that she had just smacked her superior officer on the head, and coughed to clear her throat, "Please forgive my impertinence."

"Er…excused…" Roy stammered.

Riza glanced over at him and handed Edward to him, "I'm going to make some tea…Edward still has some stomach cramps."

Roy blinked and nodded as the boy in question settled in on his lap.

"Wiza said you was cunfuused," Edward stated, looking up at the man, "So…you dun hate me, wight?"

Roy nodded, "Of course not."

"Edo!" Alphonse smiled.

Edward smiled at his brother, "All done, Awu?"

Alphonse pointed to his empty bowl, and tried to say 'all done'. Though it sounded like babble to Riza and Roy, Edward seemed to understand it.

"Good!" Edward nodded.

Riza soon had some ginger tea for Edward, some coffee for Roy, some green tea for herself, and some warm milk for Alphonse set in front of them.

Alphonse chirped something and drank at the milk.

Edward sniffed his tea suspiciously, then sniffed it again. Then, he shrugged and sipped it. He blinked.

"Do you like it?" Riza asked, sipping at her own tea.

Edward nodded, "Uh-huh."

"Don't drink it too fast," Riza warned, "Or you'll throw up again."

"Kay," Edward nodded.

Alphonse blinked and held out his bottle of milk to Edward, "Edo."

Edward shook his head, "Nah…it's all fow you."

Alphonse seemed to consider that, then shrugged and nodded, continuing to drink the milk.

"Awu and me shawe," Edward explained, though nobody asked.

"That's good," Riza nodded.

Edward had finished half of his tea, then looked up at Roy and smiled brightly, tugging on the man's shirt to get his attention. "If Wiza is gonna be like mommy…does that mean you'we gonna be ouw daddy?"

Roy coughed and spit his coffee across the table, his face red.

Riza was blushing as well, her gaze averted from them to hide it.

Black Hayate barked a couple times as if in laughter.

Alphonse laughed and clapped his hands.

Edward blinked in confusion. _Why are the adults act'n so stwange? Their faces awe all wed! And they won't wook at each othew…_ "Mebbe you should go to bed."

Roy finished wiping his mouth, and blinked at the boy.

"Cause mebbe you gots sick, too!" Edward looked half between sad, panicked, and protective, "Cause you two awe all wed! I get wed when I gots a tempewatuwe. Awe you sick, too?"

Roy stood up with Edward, "Well…bedtime for you! I'll change the sheets, and the two of you can go to sleep…well, in separate beds so Alphonse doesn't catch Edward's cold."

Alphonse protested as he was scooped up as well.

Roy was nodding, "Yes…definitely…a diaper change for Alphonse, and a bath, and then to bed…and straight to bed for Edward…" He was still muttering things like that as he went up the stairs, with two protesting toddlers under his arms.

Riza watched, her face bright red now as she stared at her tea. She sighed and put her face in her hand. _Leave it to a kid…and not just a kid, a mini Edward……geez…_

**TO BE CONTINUED…**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Roy and Riza did an admirable job avoiding each other for the rest of the night and then some.

Even when Edward woke up with another 'nightmare' (a memory of what had happened that confirmed Roy's suspicions), the two managed to resolve it without even making eye contact with each other.

The next morning, though, Riza had to speak up.

"He can't go in to identify the three," Riza stated that morning at the table, trying to get a stubborn Alphonse to eat his breakfast, "He still has a slight fever. Though it's obviously almost down to normal again, he should rest the remainder of it out."

"It's already written in…and it'll only be a moment," Roy sighed, putting the daily paper down on the table, "More importantly…what are we going to do? Alphonse can come with us because he's fine, but…"

"The military base is no place for two toddlers," Riza stated.

Roy ran a hand through his hair in slight frustration, "I _know_ that…but everyone we know is also in the military…"

Edward, who had been sullenly picking at his breakfast, looked up at them, "Book lady." He was still sulking because they made him get out of bed (or, Roy did), and get dressed and ready. He whined the entire time and even kicked Roy in the shin since he just wanted to sleep.

The adults blinked for a moment.

Alphonse clapped his hands in agreement.

"Scieszka?" Riza blinked.

Edward nodded.

The woman had stopped by the doctor's office the other day to pick up some more daily medicine for Gracia and Elysia. They got a discount in the military, so she often ran the errands on her own will. She kept talking about libraries and books, which was why Edward called her what he did just then.

Roy and Riza exchanged looks.

"Can we really trouble Gracia with them?" Riza asked.

Roy sighed and thought about it.

Riza made up her mind, "There's no choice. We have to ask her."

"Very well," Roy responded, "Should I give her a call now and explain?"

"I think that would be optimal, yes," Riza nodded, pointing to the phone on the wall.

Roy went over to it and dialed the number.

Alphonse was showing off his empty bowl and gurgled something.

"Awu says he's all done," Edward said to Riza.

Riza smiled and nodded, "Okay. Very good, Alphonse."

Alphonse smiled and beamed proudly.

Riza cleaned off the dishes, then went over and placed a hand to Edward's forehead.

Edward just looked up pathetically at her.

Riza smiled softly, "I'm afraid I lost the argument this time. You'll have to go with Roy to the office…" _Did I just call him 'Roy'? I did…………shit. Well, at least he's busy on the phone and didn't hear me._

So she thought.

Roy had paused his conversation for a moment, which prompted Gracia, who was on the other end, to ask if everything was alright, "Yes, yes…everything is fine…" _She called me by my first name…?_

Edward let out a pitiful whine, his chin resting on his arms that were on the table.

"Edo…" Alphonse frowned.

Riza ruffled Alphonse's hair, "Don't worry. He just doesn't feel too good right now. He'll be okay, Alphonse."

"Awu."

Riza blinked and looked at the still sulking boy.

"He's Awu."

"His full name is 'Alphonse'," Riza reminded him.

"But…that's too…" Edward struggled for the right word his almost three year old brain could come up with, "…stwangew-like."

Riza blinked, "Stranger-like?"

Edward nodded, "The othew people at Woi's wowk pwace call him that. Like he's a stawngew. He's not. He's Awu. And I'm Edo."

Riza softened a bit, "So, you'd like to be called 'Edo'?"

Edward nodded, a small smile on his face.

Alphonse made a grunting noise as if remind them that he was still there.

"And it's 'Aru' for you, then?" Riza looked at the boy.

Alphonse considered that. He didn't have much memories of his real mother, except a snapshot photo now and then and a kind smile. He knew this woman wasn't mommy, but she was close enough to mommy. He didn't remember what mommy called him, and since his brother called him 'Aru', he decided that he liked that name.

Riza smiled when Alphonse clapped his hands and nodded. _Young, but still geniuses, those two boys…I think Alphonse was actually __**considering**__ what I had said…_

Roy hung up the phone then, and went over, "They offered to watch both boys. Should we drop off Alphonse…"

"Awu."

Roy continued as if Edward hadn't interrupted, "…first and then bring Edward…"

"Edo!"

Roy rubbed his temples at Alphonse's outburst, then continued again, "…over to Gracia's?"

Riza couldn't help it. She chuckled, placing a hand over her mouth to hide it, though it was obvious that she was laughing.

Roy raised an eyebrow.

Riza shook her head and got her laughter under control at how the boys spoke up for the other on the names. "They prefer to be called 'Edo' and 'Aru', apparently."

Roy stared at the two toddlers, then muttered something and shook his head.

"And I think it would be best if we dropped them both off at the same time," Riza stated as well, "They don't like to be separated, remember."

Roy nodded, remembering the incident at the military base that was caused by just separating the two for five minutes while Riza went to get coffee for them.

* * *

So, they found themselves walking through an area of the prisons meant for just holding purposes for soldiers that went turncoat on the military.

Roy strode ahead confidently, with Edward walking as fast as he could at the man's side, trying to imitate the look and stride (much to the amusement of Riza, who was watching from behind since she had Alphonse in her arms). When Roy had reached out to at least take Edward's hand, the boy pulled away with a whine. He only let Roy hold his hand when he went down the stairs. Along with dark places, he seemed to hesitate a bit now when it came to stairs. In fact, he had taken Roy's hand when they went down the stairs to the basement where the special holding cells were. He let go when they reached the bottom, however.

"Here we are," Roy stood in front of a cell, and flicked a switch on the wall that would light up the cell.

Edward stared at the three men inside, then instantly ducked behind Roy's leg and buried his head in the man's pant leg.

Alphonse watched his brother's reaction, and frowned.

Riza tried to keep Alphonse's gaze on the walls instead of the prisons. Even she thought that the place was somewhat creepy. Though, she would never admit it and with her usual stern mask in place, nobody could tell.

Raido, the wavy-haired man was sitting in a chair, his hands in a special cuff to prevent him from doing a matrix for alchemy. Drew, the spiky-haired guy, was sitting in the corner, frowning. Arnold, the bald man, was sitting on the bed in there, looking bored.

Edward trembled as he gripped onto Roy's uniform leggings. _Don't let them get me!_ He whimpered.

"Well…I'd say that confirms it pretty quickly," Roy spoke up, looking at the three men in the cell, "I'll be back down later to ask you some questions. I expect the truth…and _all_ of the truth. You've already committed a crime right here in the base. By lying, you'll be sentencing yourselves. By telling the truth, you may get a trial." He held up his gloved hand, which trembled slightly in anger, thumb and finger touching.

The men instantly pulled back against the wall, faces reflecting fear.

Roy had a dangerous look in his eyes, "I warn you to tell the truth." With that, he turned and started to stride away.

Edward stumbled since he had been gripping the man's pant leg, and followed.

Riza gave them a cold look, and then followed.

Alphonse didn't really understand, but he had a feeling these men had hurt his brother, so he gave them the sternest look the two year old could manage as Riza flicked the lights back off and they walked out.

This time, Edward held onto Roy's pant leg as they headed out. Roy's hands were clenched into angry fists. He couldn't believe that anyone would actually have the nerve to try to harm a child, or scare the kid to the point where the kid would get himself locked in a closet with no ventilation. And not just any kid…_Edward_.

"Woi? Woi! You'we walk'n too fast!"

Roy stopped and looked back.

They were clear of the prison area, and were headed down the hall towards the stairs that would take them to the base level.

"We'll get the answer out of them," Riza assured the man.

Roy sighed and knelt down in front of Edward, "Can you tell me what those men did?"

Edward hesitated, then looked away, a confused frown on his face, "They wanted to take me somewhewes. I didn't know whewe…but I knew it was bad. An'…they kept say'n…that I was the son of a 'Fuwmetal' guy…who's 'Fuwmetal'? Was that fathew?"

Roy's eyes were wide as he stared at the boy.

Edward shifted, tears in his eyes, "Woi? Why'we you look'n at me wike that? You'we scawing me!"

Riza knelt down and placed a hand on Edward's shoulder.

Edward sniffled and clung to her, looking up tentatively at Roy.

Roy sighed, "Sorry."

Alphonse said something that nobody (save perhaps Edward) understood.

Edward hesitated, then slowly let go of Riza and walked back over to Roy, looking at the man. Then, he wrapped his tiny arms around the man's waist and hugged him.

Roy blinked in surprise.

"Awu says you needs a hug," Edward looked up at the man, then smiled, "Is okay, Woi."

Roy smiled softly, and gently ruffled the boy's hair, "I'll tell you about Fullmetal later, okay?"

Edward nodded, "Kay."

Roy stood back up, and was surprised when Edward reached up and took his hand.

Edward just smiled up at the man's confused look.

Behind them, Riza smiled, and Alphonse squealed happily. _Just like a happy family…huh?_ The thought made her blush, and she was glad that Roy couldn't see. She thought she detected a hint of redness on Roy's cheeks when he glanced over his shoulder, but she couldn't be sure since he turned away quickly.

Edward walked along, wondering why the grownups kept turning red in the face if they weren't sick.

**TO BE CONTINUED…**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Edward watched protectively for a few moments until he was sure that Alphonse was fine playing with Elysia as he lay on the couch nearby where they were playing. He refused to be away from his brother, and started kicking and crying when Gracia started to move him into another room so he could rest off the remainder of his fever. So, they compromised.

Alphonse and Elysia would play in the livingroom, on the floor, and Edward would rest on the couch.

Scieszka would watch the two, and often play with them.

Edward smiled, then thought for a moment and turned to look at the woman that was preparing snacks on the table near the couch. "Gwacia?"

"Yes?" Gracia blinked, looking over at him, "Is something wrong?"

Edward shook his head, "No…but I gots a question."

Gracia nodded, "Go ahead, Edo."

"I think some'n might be wong with Woi and Wiza," Edward stated.

Gracia blinked and sat down on the couch next to him, "What makes you say that?"

"They keep tuwn'n wed whenevew they look at each othew…_and_, they look at each othew when they think the othew isn't look'n! And theiw faces awe all wed! Awe they sick?"

Gracia couldn't help but laugh.

Edward let out a whine to let her know that her laughter on the subject wasn't wanted, welcome, or helping.

Gracia shook her head, "Sorry, Edo…how do I explain this? They're in love with each other, but they aren't sure about it."

"In wove? Like…I wove Awu?"

"No, no…it's a different kind of love," Gracia found herself slightly amused that she was trying to explain the 'birds and the bees' to a two-almost-three year old, when her own daughter wouldn't be asking for another nine years or so.

"Diffewent wove?" Edward blinked.

Gracia nodded, "Like…mommy and daddy love."

"Oh!" Edward nodded, "So, Woi and Wiza wove each othew like mommies and daddies, but they'we too scawed to say so!"

Gracia blinked. _How old did they say he was, again…?_ "Y-yes. Is that all, Edo?"

Edward nodded and lay down, "Yep! Tankies, Gwacia!"

Gracia nodded and stood up, then continued to set up the snacks, missing the toothy grin on Edward's face that meant he was plotting something.

* * *

By the time Roy and Riza picked the two boys up, Edward's fever was gone, and he was back to normal…though, he had this goofy grin on his face that slightly worried Roy since it reminded him too much of how one fifteen year old Edward Elric, aka the Fullmetal Alchemist, would grin when he was about to do something crazy.

Since the two boys had eaten at Gracia's house, they were set to play quietly in the playpen in the livingroom (being watched by Black Hayate) while Roy and Riza ate in the kitchen.

"Awu," Edward whispered.

The other toddler blinked and leaned in to hear.

"We gotta keep this secwet, but we gotta get Woi and Wiza togethew," Edward whispered.

Alphonse nodded, then gurgled a question.

Edward nodded, "Yep. They wove each othew like mommies and daddies do. Gwacia said so! But they'we too scawed to say so! So _we_ gotta do it fow them!"

Alphonse let out a smile that nearly matched his brother's mischievous one.

"Hewe awe the plans…" Edward pulled out a piece of paper and a crayon, "Plan one…we lock them in a woom togethew." He drew out the ideas as he said them.

Alphonse seemed to consider the idea, then shook his head.

Edward thought a moment, then drew another picture, "Kay…plan two…we say it fow them!"

Alphonse thought, then shook his head 'no'.

Edward frowned, and drew another one, "Um…plan thwee……um…we can…" he paused, tapping his chin in thought, "…get up way eawly an'…um…move theiw boots so's they gotta find em and then we'll be wait'n with em and they'll…" Edward frowned, then crumpled up that paper and tossed it, "Nah. Wun wowk."

Black Hayate caught the paper in his mouth, his tail wagging.

"I know!" Edward grinned, "We wite a lettew fow them and have Bwack Hayate give it to them, and then have them meet somewhewes!"

Alphonse pointed to a piece of paper where Edward had written a few letters, indicating that it was sloppy and wouldn't fool anyone.

Edward sighed and rolled onto his back, "What do we do, then?"

Alphonse crossed his little arms in thought.

Edward sighed, "It'll be bedtime soon…and then…" an idea hit him, and he grinned, then looked up at Alphonse, "I gots a gweat idea that's suwe to wowk! Listen to this, Awu!" He sat up and started whispering something to his brother.

Black Hayate leaned in closer and raised an ear slightly as if listening in as well.

Alphonse nodded, then again, then his grin mirrored Edward's. He nodded.

Black Hayate's tail wagged.

Edward grinned.

* * *

Getting the two to bed had been difficult. Edward kept whining and throwing a fit, and Alphonse would start to cry when Edward was removed from his sight.

Roy and Riza just gave up and let the two sleep together…and were relieved when they finally stopped throwing fits and just seemed to snuggle together and close their eyes.

Roy and Riza then managed to stammer out a 'goodnight' to each other before going to their own rooms.

* * *

"One…two…thwee……"

A pause.

Then…

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!"

Edward and Alphonse wailed at the top of their lungs.

Their combined screaming had both Roy and Riza stumbling into the room. Neither were awake enough to wonder why Black Hayate hadn't started barking.

"What's wrong with them?" Roy asked, checking them over.

"Another nightmare?" Riza questioned Edward.

The two boys continued to wail.

"Maybe they need fresh diapers…" Riza checked…Alphonse was a tiny bit wet, but Edward was dry.

"Are you two hungry?" Roy tried.

The two boys continued to wail. Alphonse had tears running down his face, and Edward's face was turning slightly red.

"For goodness sakes, breath, you two!" Riza gasped, picking up Alphonse.

Roy did the same to Edward.

"What in the world got you boys so upset?" Riza asked as the two boys' wailing started to die down.

It was hard to even fake a sob when they were being held like that.

Edward sniffled, "Bad dweam."

"Both of you?" Roy raised an eyebrow.

Edward glanced at Alphonse.

Alphonse whimpered.

"Awu says him, too," Edward stated.

"Okay…what was the dream about?" Roy asked.

Edward said the first thing that popped into his mind, "The thwee scawy men fwom ealiew."

Alphonse sniffled and nodded.

"You won't let them huwt us, wight?" Edward sniffled dramatically.

"No…you two are completely safe," Roy lay Edward back in bed.

Riza started to do the same with Alphonse…except Alphonse had a tight grip on her pajama sleeve.

"What if they come out when you weave?" Edward asked fearfully.

"That's impossible," Roy shook his head.

Edward whimpered and tears welled up in his eyes, "But…you gotsta pwotect us! They was scawed of you! Pwease?" He tugged on Roy's arm.

Roy, off balanced, stumbled and fell onto the bed.

"Edo…" Roy started.

Edward sniffled, an expression on his face that predicted a lot of tears.

Alphonse, meanwhile, was already wailing again when Riza tried to get him to let go.

"How about I stay with them?" Riza offered.

"But I want Woi to stay!" Edward whined.

"I guess I will, then…?" Roy raised an eyebrow.

Alphonse whined.

"But Awu wants Wiza to stay!" Edward protested.

"Well, we can't _both_ stay…how about Black Hayate stays, too……where is that dog, anyway…?" Riza looked around.

Alphonse wailed louder, and Edward let his tears fall as he started to cry as well.

"You hate us! You'll let them take us!" Edward sobbed.

"That's not it…!"

"We'we just wittle kids! We can't defend ouwselves!" Edward continued to sob, "And thewe awe two of us! If only one of you stays, then those bad men will get one of us!"

"We won't let that happen…" Roy started.

Edward started to wail.

Alphonse joined in a moment later.

"Okay, okay!" Roy climbed into bed next to Edward, on the outside, his cheeks glowing a slight red, "That better?!"

Riza was blushing as well as she climbed in next to Alphonse, on the opposite end of Roy.

Alphonse and Edward immediately calmed down, and curled up, smiling.

"Tankies! Awu says tankies, too! Now we'll be safe!" Edward smiled, then ducked his head back into the pillow and winked at Alphonse.

Alphonse finished his sniffles and resisted a giggle as he winked back, the two flashing mischievous grins at each other that only they could see before closing their eyes.

* * *

"…well, this is awkward…"

"…yes, it is."

"…are the two asleep yet?"

Riza leaned over and checked, then nodded, "They're fast asleep. Finally."

"What a mess…I wonder what got into them?"

"Who knows? I told you that taking them down into that prison wasn't a good idea."

"I had to take Edward down to identify the three. You decided to bring Alphonse."

"You know as well as I do that those two start throwing temper tantrums when they're separated."

"…" Roy stared at the ceiling.

Riza was also staring at the ceiling. She glanced over to look at Roy at the same time he looked over at her.

The two looked away, blushing.

"Well…it's only for one night…" Roy coughed.

"Y-yes…just one night…"

Silence again.

"Riza…are you asleep?"

Riza blushed. _He called me by my first name…? Can it be that he…? _"N-no…are you?"

"Obviously not," Roy tried to smirk, but it was weakened due to his nervousness. _Me? Nervous? Just because I'm sharing a bed with Riza? No…NO. Not sharing a bed with her…it's because of the two kids. Right. The two kids._

Riza was also thinking along the same lines. _It's not just with Roy…it's with Edward and Alphonse, too. Don't think about Roy…don't think about the fact that the only things separating him and you are two tiny boys………_

Roy was also reaching the same conclusions, and he glanced at her.

Riza looked back at him.

Roy coughed and looked away.

Riza sighed and looked at the ceiling.

Silence again.

"Y-you know…it's not that bad…" Riza finally broke the silence once more.

Roy nodded, "I never thought of myself to be a family man. Ever."

"Guess you were wrong for once, hmm?"

"It happens to the best of us."

Riza gave him a _look_.

Roy snapped his jaws shut and gulped.

Just then, they heard Black Hayate bark, and something scamper.

Roy and Riza had jumped a bit, before relaxing.

"He chases mice?" Roy came to the conclusion.

Riza nodded, "Yes…there's this annoying, female black mouse that keeps on coming back every night. I'm beginning to suspect that the two just do their little act for fun."

"He was woken up by the mouse, but not by Edward and Alphonse's wailing?" Roy raised an eyebrow.

"Don't ask me," Riza shrugged, "Maybe he had to go out, and went through the flap in the door."

"He would have come back from the noise."

Riza nodded.

Roy gave a sudden chuckle, "I feel as if he conspired against us."

"You mean, leaving us alone like this?"

"E-Edward and Alphonse are here, too…" Roy stammered.

"R-right…" Riza blushed.

Roy glanced over at her, and reached an arm over the two boys, taking her hand that was closest to him.

Riza suppressed a shocked gasp, and just stiffened before relaxing, moving her arm up so he wouldn't have to reach so far. "I think you can do better…but you're being a fine father, Roy Mustang."

Roy smirked a bit, but there was only warmth in it, "And you're a little short tempered, but an excellent mother, Riza Hawkeye."

The two leaned forward, only to be interrupted when Edward kicked out in his sleep and caught Roy in the chest while, down the hall, Black Hayate's barking startled them again.

"Continue this in the morning?" Riza asked.

Roy rubbed his chest and nodded, eyeing the boy, "Yes…"

"Goodnight, Roy."

Roy blinked a couple times, then smiled, "Goodnight, Riza."

* * *

They thought they were up early, so when they had to break apart from the kiss due to snickering, they were a little surprised.

Roy and Riza blushed and looked at the two kids standing at the entrance to the kitchen, grinning up at them.

"Um…are you kids hungry?" Riza asked.

The two nodded.

Alphonse held his arms up, and Edward climbed onto a chair.

Riza put Alphonse in his high chair, and started making something.

"Does this mean that Wiza is ouw mommy and Woi is ouw daddy?" Edward asked.

Roy and Riza paused, then glanced at each other.

"Yes…I think it does, Edo," Riza smiled.

Roy nodded in agreement.

Edward and Alphonse gave each other a high-five, then winked at Black Hayate, who wagged his tail in return.

Roy noticed that out of the corner of his eye. _It couldn't be…_

"Something wrong?" Riza asked.

Roy eyed the boys and the dog once more. _A toddler with no idea of how love works, another toddler that can only say one word, and a dog that can't speak at all. _

"Roy?"

Roy blinked and looked at Riza after casting one last glance at the grinning trio, briefly wondering how Black Hayate managed to get a grin on his dog-face. He blinked, and it was gone. He shook his head, "No…it's nothing…"

Riza glanced at the two boys and the dog, catching innocent grins from them before turning to Roy and raising an eyebrow, "You don't think…?"

"It's impossible."

Riza nodded, "Completely."

Despite that, the two stared at the giggling boys and the tail-wagging dog for a long time before turning back around.

"We'll still call each other by ranks at the office…"

"This is going to spread like wildfire among the men…no use in hiding it," Roy ran a hand through his hair.

Riza nodded, then held up her gun, "If they have a problem with it, they can take it up with me."

Roy sweatdropped, "Remind me what I got myself into just now…?"

Riza walked over and kissed him on the lips briefly before serving breakfast to the kids and taking her seat, "Does that answer your question?"

Roy smiled, and took his seat as well, "Yes…it does."

Not surprising to Edward, Alphonse's next word he spoke was 'yay', which he cheered so right after breakfast was over along with Edward. Black Hayate had barked as if cheering as well.

Roy and Riza exchanged looks again, then shook their heads. _Couldn't be…_

Edward, Alphonse, and Black Hayate grinned at each other and winked from one to the other. Edward gave a playful salute to the other two, mimicking what he saw around the military base. Black Hayate bowed his head, and Alphonse gave a sloppy salute back to Edward, giggling.

The plan had worked. Mission accomplished.

**THE END**


End file.
